Several months ago (during the earliest stages of the great cycling revolution in which our beloved Racing Union was born in the bowels of the command bunker deep below the Plaza de la Revolucion), it was decided that comrades toiling and sacrificing for our cause should be properly outfitted for the forthcoming battle. Under the guidance of the Racing Union’s Minister of Technical Apparel Design, a citizens committee worked day and night to create a uniform worthy of our epic struggle for right. A design was chosen, and a sympathetic apparel producer in South Carolina was enlisted to help our new kits come to fruition.
Through our agents in South Carolina, a Colombian spandex concern was contracted to produce the new uniforms.
After their manufacture, uniforms are neatly packaged and ready for the long journey north to the command bunker:
Delivery of the uniforms commences, fittingly on two wheels. Unfortunately, due to challenging road conditions similar to those found on the gravel stretch of the Poolesville Road Race, our couriers experience a few mechanicals. Soon, however, our brave comrades resume delivery.
Despite the best efforts of the couriers, authorities unsympathetic to the revolution (and resistant to the change it represents) attempt to stall the delivery at Customs, further delaying the delivery of the uniforms:
As delays continue, a restless citizenry protests:
Interim measures for uniforms are considered by the Supreme Council for Wardrobe and Technical Apparel…
Rococo:
Teutonic:
Uhhhhh...?
And, in the truest spirit of the principles of the Racing Union, D.I.Y.:
While they all have their merits, as well as a certain sartorial splendor, none fulfill the Union’s exacting requirements for technical cycling apparel. Patiently, the revolution waits for the arrival of the new Racing Union uniforms.
Meanwhile, despite the mounting delays, comrades throughout the heartland spruce up the public realm in preparation for the arrival of the new kits:
Finally, the uniforms arrive via special courier:
Citizens rejoice!
Now, a sneak preview of the new uniform, before final inspection by a representative from the Ministry of Quality Control for Technical Apparel:
Quality Control arrives on the scene and begins a thorough inspection, starting with a close examination of design elements and graphic image quality.
Next, our inspector checks the antimicrobial integrity of the garment’s underarm section…
Despite the risk of further delays in delivery, the inspector takes a moment to get lost in the overall comfort of the new Racing Union jersey. While this may not seem like an important part of the inspection process, the comfort of our comrades should not be overlooked. In bringing on the revolution, we cannot risk potential distraction due to the scratchiness of inferior fabrics against comrades’ skin. The Union requires nothing less than the most technically advanced space-age wonder fabrics.
In addition to the aforementioned attributes, the inspector rigorously tests the new garments for structural integrity, compliance, and zipper functionality:
After a lengthy and grueling inspection, Quality Control delivers its final approval.
Da, Union! Da!
--- posted by josh