we are here today to honor those who have done valiant work towards the goals of the glorious cause that is the revolution in cycling and the social order. we have a few shout-outs to issue this week. all were unexpected and all are very welcome. both contain the same basic motif: the union message of supporting and showing stewardship for our fellow cyclists....and.....mercilessly crushing any who would inhibit us from realizing our goals.
commendation #1: the medal of outstanding valour is hereby issued to kevin stapleton and pete lindeman by the supreme revolutionary council for propogation of message. both of these citizens independently were pursuing ways to bring attention to a rather sordid form of crime. their nearly simultaneous calls to action have resulted in people being reunited with their hard earned and beloved bikes and some sunlight being shone into some fairly unpleasant corners of commerce. yes, the marketplace can solve all your problems.
and that's not all. pete and kevin will receive additional rations of cabbage, cloth and lamp oil (and the hotties that go with that kind of largess) as a result of these commendations. cha ching. cha ching. in stark contrast, the punishment for the perpetrators will likely fit the crime. though dante does not specifically detail which circle of hell is reserved of bike theives, the union has branded them traitors to the glorious revolution. so circle nine it likely is. good luck with that fellas.
commendation #2: the order of the 11 tooth cog is hereby bestowed, by the bolshevik vanguard of the union, on the national capital velo club. this is not their first award, and their good works are known to all who struggle on two wheels. however, this specific commendation is presented for outstanding progress in actualizing racing union thought. the principles of the union are well understood but many clubs have not made progress in putting them into action. here, ncvc leads the way.
the context for this is not widely understood. mabra pursued sponsorship for a series of races within it's boundries. promoters were allowed to petition to be part of this series. if they were accepted, the money was made available to them. rather than increase prize lists to make the race an even more mercantile exercise, ncvc has opted to lower race entry costs, hence lowering the barrier to race for all cyclists and citizens. this populist approach pleases the vanguard of the racing union and we offer our very best wishes to this club on what we would characterize as a good start towards returning bike racing to the people. huzzah!
- - - posted by scott
p.s. eric marshall will have every right to complain and be justifiably bitter that his excellent, and exceedingly popular, and populist, quicksilver winter solstice series race has been left out in the cold. but i'm out of medals. the blame for that shoudl fall squarely on those fictitous mining production quotas the vile and repugnant capitalist and imperialist interference in our pastoral and decentralized communal and collectivist economic processes.
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