personal diary of hector ortiz chuega, current head of dear leader's security detail, day 611 of the revolution, 17:30h, racing union command bunker.

i awoke this morning with a pounding headache.  i have gotten little sleep and my body is telling me that i have not cared for it as one should.  but there is much work to do.  the disruption comes at a bad time.  the revolution had been gaining momentum and the schisms we are seeing now are so typical.  these snot-nosed intellectuals will fight each other to the death before they realize how much they have in common and how similar they really are.  freud had a very appropriate name for it, but from where i'm standing, it's just a headache. 

i have been collecting notes on the various sects that are attempting to either make a name for themselves or make a play for running the union.  most of these guys are a joke and will end up at the business end of my "administrative hardware" before this is all done with.  you'd think this would be routine.  i've dealt with assassins and cia goons, more than i care to count.   and now they ask me to control a group obsessed with capitalization and grammar?!  i almost said no, it's a waste of ammunition.  just stand on their necks for a while and they'll slink home and fall back into line.  it's what they taught us and it's what works.

but this one is harder than it seems.  and that's the headache.  dear leader is being very restrained over this.  i'm not sure how he's playing it but he's allowing them to post their screeds, to demonstrate downtown and even to put up posters with wheatpaste.  i'm pretty damned tired of it but he's been very specific: no overt control of the uprisings.  this is such a departure from the normal m.o. that it's hard to be patient.  i don't see what he gains by letting these groups rant unless he thinks they'll attack each other, weaken themsleves and solve the problem.  and i hope that's not what he thinks because i suspect these groups are stronger than he knows.

on the surface they are pathetic.  la societe is simply a bunch of drippy-nosed, wet-behind-the-ears, ivory tower type victorian throwbacks who would shoot their best friend in the face over the placement of a comma.  i'm almost entirely sure that the american council is a collaboration between the dole fruits corporatist mafia, the cia and the american enterprise institute.  at least that's what the guy with the bow tie we captured told us once we put the heel to him and he gave everything up and made with the music like tito puente.  at least american operatives in the 80's and 90's had pride.  the true liberation front is either the least of our worries or our greatest concern.  we should be able to effectively turn them against the other two. 

plans for the next 12 hours:

• my agents should have several members of la societe downstairs for questioning shortly and i suspect we'll get to the bottom of this in a hurry.  if my guess is right, just denying them lattes will have them screaming for mercy.
• the american council types aren't hard to spot.  just look for someone who dresses like panama jack or jean-claude van damme hiding behind a palm tree and talking into his sleeve.  really, they don't pay me enough to do this.  we don't even need to tail them.  how they ever achieved any level of success is completely beyond me.
• we are staking out the churches around the slums in the hopes of tracking down the leadership of the true liberation front.  my instinct is to simply eradicate them but they prove useful.

i'll file a longer report tomorrow.  for now, i need sleep.