personal diary of hector ortiz chuega, current head of dear leader's security detail, day 618 of the revolution, 14:30h, an untended corn field on the west peninsula.

early this morning, we found the automobile dear leader was reported to have left the compound in.  reports had him with three companions, travelling at an exceedingly high rate of speed, but none of the companions are present here.  i had the initial accident team fan out to look for them, and anyone who might have run into them with plans to keep this very quiet.  very, very quiet.

when we arrived on the scene, the car was upside down, the engine was still revving, the high beams on, and spanish moon was blaring from the speakers.  a 76 foot patch of rubber pointed down the road and through a curve to where we found it.  contents of the car: seven cigars, cuban; one and a half bottles of what appear to be kentucky, single-barrel bourbon; two blankets; 7 pieces of jerked chicken along with two large containers of rice and beans; a briefcase with a two cell phones, a pistol, loaded, and a half finished speech for the american labor day about "how personal sacrifice through financial austerity aids the revolution and your fellow revolutionaries".  there were a lot fo marks on the speech but it was dark and i had other things to focus on.  finally, a selection of 1970's era cassette tapes: foghat, bad company, little feat and early zz top.  i was unaware that copies of these tapes were in circulation.  they are not banned but they are rare and most would consider them exotic.  the cassettes had labels such as "saying of chairman mao", "speeches of hugo chavez" and "biography of huey newton". 

these facts are itemized not so much to document the scene as to provide subsequent insight into what might be motivating these bizarre episodes of behaviour.  clearly the strain is getting to everyone, but dear leader appears to be showing some major cracks.  he was found face down, but concious and alert in a ditch nearby.  he ignored all efforts to communcate, other than to hum a tune and mumble some lyrics.  one guard thought he recognized it as coming from a band called .38 special, but on hearing this, dear lead rose, walked over to the man and assaulted him.  He was forcibly restrained and then medicated and taken to his summer residence.

the real concern here is not dear leader.  the party can certainly replace him, and his behaviour is leading many to find him emminently more replaceable.  the problem is control.  the supreme revolutionary guard is rapidly losing patience.  these are the type of people that don't like uncertainty and loathe chaos.  if a power vaccuum emerges, they will fill it quickly and with force.  that transition would be.....sub-optimal.....and must be avoided if at all possible.  a coup may be necessary, but the goons cannot be allowed to run things.  i had dear leader's shelby cobra GT500 towed to my personal chalet where it will undergo repairs and restoration.  in the name of the people, of course, as it is the property of the people.  I divided up the cigars and booze for the guards who were very grateful.

i notified the ministries of communcations, outreach and central planning.  as of this writing, i believe the whole incident has been put to bed.