i got a few emails recently about why the union eschews sponsorship.  so many people seem to take a shine to it.  and a select few seem to have an uncomfortable sense of entitlement towards it.  sponsorship cash seems like such a good idea at the time.  some businessman or businesswoman orders a dumptruck load of cash dropped on your front lawn in the hopes that you'll go really fast, and somehow by going fast, you'll advertise their product and grow their business. 

the cash feels good, makes it easier to focus on what you need to do to be fast.  but before long, you're pimping just about anything for enough money for a new rear derailleur.  think back to joe jacoby and his theatrevision advertisements.  who didn't cringe while watching those, secretly and desperately hoping that the arc their life took didn't take them to that.  but it always comes to that.  I expect to see many of you in advertisements just like this one in the next few years...

 

i can't quite tell if he's got a cigarette in his mouth in the upper left hand picture but i sort of like to hope so.  and you can bet that if we build a velodrome anywhere nearby, that smoking will not just be allowed, but de rigeur.  for all racers, a two pack minimum.

awesome!  oh yeah, and as an extra bonus, if you want to understand why people in SUV's think you're gay, look no further than this ad, where two fit guys are rubbing each other down with embrocation.  you think lemond or lance would pose for this?  fat chance.  maybe hamilton or julich.

bring it in the comments.

- - - posted by scott

this is the first installment of the racing union book club.  union members are usually so busy reading their manifestos that it's difficult to squeeze other things in.  but we do manage a bit here and there.    almost all the books discussed here are available for loan, simply contact the reviewer.  the books are described and we use a simple grading system.  books can earn anywhere from 0 to 5 hammer and sickles.  feel free to add additional feedback yourself in the comments

today we have five books of political cartoons and a special edition book club for the younger revolutionaries out there.  enjoy!

review #1: attitude, attitude 2, and attitude 3.  collections of subversive comics, edited by ted rall. 

      

this is a nice series of books for those not familiar with what are generally referred to as underground artisits or alternative comics.  Each book has between 15 and 20 artists with various points of view, drawing styles, and followings.  some are widely published, some only occur on the web and are not commercial in the sense that they are not bought or sold, but available to anyone who cares to look at them.  For each artist, rall presents a brief biography, an interview with the artist and a nice sampling of their work.

the strongest aspects of these books is the work itself.  the samples are outstanding and people familiar with the artists may actually recall a number of the samples that are presented here.  some are laugh out loud funny, some elicit wry smiles, and some are positively disturbing.  one of my personal favorites was the interview with neil swaab who writes the edgy strip rehabilitaing mr. wiggles. 

that interview is amusing, and almost as edgy as the strip.  unfortunately, most are not like that.  As strong as the comics are, most of the interviews don't add as much value as i was hoping.  i'm not sure this is rall's fault, but the fact that the interviews get better as the books progress makes me think that there was a bit of a learning curve in eliciting good information from the artists.  In general, the interviews provide some good insight into their influences, their ideas and what they feel their strip adds to the public dialouge.  the interviews are not nearly as compelling as the comics, but luckily, the comics carry the day.  I give it four hammers and sickles.

 

review #2 : hell in a handbasket by tom tomorrow.  a collection of his "this modern world" strips.

this is a positively laugh-out-loud collection of comics.  the material in this voume covers his strips from early 2002 through 2006.  many of the strips deal with political spin and the cognitive dissonance that results from taking counter-factual positions.  he has what many people refer to as a clip art style.  many strips appear to have the same basic motif recurring throughout all panels with only slight alterations in the background.  but this description belies the quality of the art itself.  the characters he uses are immeidately recognizable archetypes and actually help to cement the message the strip is trying to get across.  at times, the graphic style is laugh out loud funny all by itself.

i have shared this book with a lot of people of all political stripes and all agreed that the material was funny and worth the price of admission.  tom tomorrow keeps a pretty entertaining blog and i would have though that some text to sort of tie the ideas togeterh might have worker well, but the comics are all outstanding and the book doesn't suffer because of it.  four and half hammers and sickles.

 

review #3 : why do they kill me by tim kreider.  a collection of his "the pain" strips.

why do they kill me is a very different kind of collection of comics.  in part, this is because his strip is different.  he tends to work in large single format, and does a limited number of sequences.  his artisitic stlye is sparse.  he uses an intersting mix of artisitic realism and stylized drawings.  a lot of his humor comes from a pathological dislike of president bush balanced against a fundamental cynicism (could anyone else could do better?) and a nagging doubt (might there actually be wmd's somewhere in iraq and won't we look like asses when they show up?). 

the best part of this collection is that each comic is presented with what amounts to a long diary entry, explaining the backstory for the comic.  the comics can generally stand on thier own, but they are vastly better when viewed with the written material.  the stories are very funny, and make strips that might otherwise seem awkward or confusing much better.  the stories and strips work together to really crystalize what kreider is trying to get across.  four and half hammers and sickles.

 

and finally, one for the young revolutionaries in your family, the little lenins gathered around your table. 

review #4 : click clack moo cows that type.  by doreen cronin and betsy lewin.

hands down, this is the best childrens book in our house.  if you're unfamiliar with the story, the fantastic pbskids show between the lions has a free preview, check it man

http://pbskids.org/lions/clickety/

the preview does not do justice to the art (which is very nice) but you get the basic story.  this is a classic tale of solidarity, where entities band together and collectively fight for humane conditions.  it would be simplistic to say that the plot is simply about sticking it to the man, or the farmer in this case.  not since animal farm by george orwell have we seen barnyard animals used to pimp social activism for collective progress so effectively.  everytime i read this, i get a bit misty.  i love this book and will tolerate no criticism of it.  if you post in the comments and talk about taft/harltey or reagan and the flight controllers, i will delete your post, track you down and make you regret it.  five hammers and sickles, bitches.  dig it.

- - - posted by scott

racing union communication :: hf758-comm-091206-ur76-7u

extemporaneous remarks delivered to the first party congress from the podium of the people by our dear leader.  this speech had a total time of 4 hours, 13 minutes, 22 seconds, and covered a variety of topics including the nature of resistance to an auto-centric transportation grid, the need to not differentiate between the roles for women and men in the revolution, characteristics of social change that may signal the impending revolution and the relative merits of 25c vs. 28c tires for commuting.  this transcript focuses on dear leader's opening remarks concerning the need to be vigilant in spreading the union message and a proclamation concerning "unpacking day".

begin transcript

thank you, thank you brother and sisters, today, i shall try to be brief...

(polite laughter)

yes, yes, you will need to forgive me.  sometimes i simply become overtaken in my enthusiasm...

(more laughter) 

...talking about the glorious revolution.  i will have to ask you to pardon me, but i will not apologize.  zeal for the union cause is a virtue. 

(applause)

indeed, zeal for change is a characteristic which we seek to impart to those who are stuck, mired in the subtle tyranny of the status quo.  the message of the union is a strong one, and it naturally finds a place in the hearts and minds of those who hear it.  it is compelling, this message of change for the better.  who now can look at our current situation, our current station in life, our current struggle simply to make ends meet and feel that this is acceptable.  brother and sisters, i say that we must work even harder.  remember the words of the manifesto: we will show by example, by our actions, that people can organize around their principles without all of the baggage, the trappings, the cultural detritus and intellectual corruption of the existing plutocratic and mercantile system.

(applause)

change is in the air.  one can simply sense it.  as with the changing of the seasons, which is also beginning as we speak, all things transition to their next state.  when i woke this morning, it was actually a bit chilly and damp.  i needed to go down to my very bottom drawer and pull out my thermal bib knickers for my morning constitutional ride around the plaza de la revolucion.  over breakfast, i joked with ministers from the various departments as we were planning the day, about how i had to unpack my winter riding clothes and one of them mentioned that we should call it unpacking day. 

(laughter)

there was general agreement that this was a clever idea.  a sort of signal event for cyclists in the transition between the heat and humidity of summer and the cooler weather of the fall.  so we declare today "unpacking day" for all cyclists, and fully expect to see a lot more arm and leg warmers in the coming days.  this will certainly be a change from the hateful heat we endured through the summer.  but these changes are healthy.  adapting to change is necessary, or will be necessary for those who oppose us, for when the great revoution comes, all manner of things within cycling and social order will be changed.  we must communicate our great enthusiasm toward this glorious impending change to those who have not yet heard the message.  as the seasons change, so must the social order. 

(applause)

venceremos!  brothers and sisters, mabra sera libre!  viva la racing union!

(applause)

end transcript

remaining remarks are contained in racing union communication hf758-comm-091206-ur76-7v

end communication

as the season winds down, it seems like the right time to start seriously addressing the major flaws in the adminsitration of bicycle races in the mid-atlantic area.  the biggest issues we've seen recently have been those related to race numbers. 

now it simply goes without saying that the reason we have so many problems with identifying racers is because of the nature of race numbering.  oh, sure, you'll hear all sorts of other excuses, but lack of clarity and redundancy is the big one, trust me.  other sports just seem to take this issue more seriously.  in triathlon, for instance, your number is written in indelible marker on both arms and both legs.  your age or a code for your age group is usually put on your right or left calf.  they call this body marking**.  in addition, you have a paper number that attaches to your bike and a sticker that usually goes on your helmet.  when you're running, you need to wear a second paper number around your waist. 

now those people are really, honestly serious about placing competitors.  this sort of redundancy that we have come to simply expect as de rigeur in a professional business environment, we somehow don't see the need for in our chosen recreational pursuit.  even short track speed skating has a better system than we do.  using high contrast yellow helmet covers with black numbers, it's easy to identify each racer.

simply put, we must learn form these sports.  i will be advancing a two-part proposal at the mabra annual meeting which i hope you will all support.  mabra should acquire a stock of bright yellow helmet covers with large balck numbers immediately, and provide them to promoters to use during races.  initially, we'll probably only be able to afford one set.  but i'm sure that with a big "can do" attitide, the racers and officials in our district will work cooperartively to collect the helmet numbers from one race and immediately get them distributed and onto the helmets of the racers in the next race. 

in addition, all racers should be body marked.  the price of a sharpie?  $1.19 in my most recent back to school circular.  the knowledge that you're number is written all over your body virtually assuring you of getting placed in the final results?  can a price event be put on such a thing?  we spend so much on bikes and uniforms and training and sports nutrition and transport to the races.  and suddenly we balk at the $1.19 to virtually assure us of being placed?  it's false economy brother and sisters.  i will expect immediate and vociferous support for this proposal at the annual meeting from all people who bitterly kvetched about losing placings at recent races.  together, we can work to make racing better here in the mid-atlantic

 - - - posted by scott

**  i used to volunteer before a lot of tri's around here and body mark people on the morning of the race.  it's a surreal experience, but that's a story for another time. 

the racing union implicitly, through the supreme wisdom of our guiding principles, seeks to eliminate negative social and economic forces that adversely affect cycling.  we've talked a lot about doping.  we've offered proposals to catch people who cheat.  and i have personally gone out of my way to mock people who made lame and highly improbably excuses for why landis was not guilty. 

but i did not realize until this morning, when i happened to come across this article, that i had overlooked somethign considerable.  read it once or twice and really let the idea sink in.  i have obviously neglected to pursue other options that were and are available.  we don't need expensive testing regimens and we certainly don't need cumbersome legislative or judicial processes.  we just need to call people dopers and suspend them from racing.  problm solved, and seriously, what could be easier?

i frankly don't know why this did not occur to me earlier.  maybe it's because i spend so much time in the streets, fighting the man.  i am basically skeptical about using the man's system to do what the people need done.  but i hear it all the time, especially down at hains:so-and-so is a doper or you-know-who is on the juice.  i ask them if they are really certain (i mean really, really, really, super-really certain) and they always say yes and then go on at length about how obvious it is.  well then the answer is just right there.  mabra needs a new department of doping adjudication.  we'll just bypass the whole wada/usada** process and post their names as dopers after some sort of simple adminstrative process.  heck, we could probably just modify the mabra web site to allow you to enter the names of people you know are dopers.  sweet.  if anyone knows anything about who's doping or about modifying php coding so we can get cracking on the mabra site modifications right away, you know where to reach me. 

- - - posted by scott

** i really love the fact that when i pulled both of these web sites up, there were pictures of cyclists on both.  it turns out that this is not so funny as i first thought, as the pages have a rotating stock of photos that you can scroll through by reloading.  but check out the mtb cycling shot on the wada page.  it's not even a racer, just some guy in a yellow jacket riding a trail somewhere.  that tells you how damned prevalent doping is, if even the freds are juiced to the gills and in need of attention from wada...

web site has been "dark" for a while.  news has been grim all around.  but the struggle must continue.

it's time to rock the house.  mabra annual meeting is around the corner and we have some plans.  will the sheep be fleeced and led to pasture by the shepards?  i say no!  brothers and sisters, racers and riders, throw off this contemptible yoke of oppression.  rise up and greet a new day.  the racing union supports you as you support it.  collectively, we'll flex our muscle.  let's bring it.

- - - posted by scott

In only its first year of existence, Racing Union has demonstrated its superiority to all detractors and taken a strong standing among the nation's best pro cycling teams. In the current MABRA Team BAR standings, the Union trails Navigators and Toyota-United Pro Cycling Team by a mere 6 and 4 points respectively. One good finish will assuredly boost "Squadra Tifosi" over the pros in the standings and prove once and for all the unstoppable power of the revolution in cycling beating at our doorstep.

okay.  i'm going to just totally geeze out here, but man, when i was coming up, revolutionaries were a whole lot harder than they are today.  they struggled and they strived.  reading their exploits will bring tears to your eyes and inspire you to great things. and now there's this....

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/748441.html

What happened in Bint Jbail recurred in Ayta al-Shab. Although it seemed that the town had been conquered, it transpired again and again that there were still Hezbollah men in it. Once again, clashes and battles took place, and again, the IDF suffered dead and wounded.

Although the army had conquered the town, Hezbollah men were hiding in underground bunkers well camouflaged from the outside. The bunkers had been stocked with large quantities of food, enough to last for weeks, and ammunition, including antitank missiles and, in several cases, short-range rockets.

The bunkers are connected to electricity and, according to one report, are air conditioned. (emphasis mine)

how did they survive between attacks without an espresso maker?  we can't be far from a large-format, glossy stock, monthly magazine that's something like a cross between better homes and gardens and soldier of fortune.  this month: 20 foolproof foxhole recipes that even the kids will love.  install your own bidet using recaptured water, we show you how.  accentuating bare earth walls, our experts give you the hot tips for this summer.  and seriously, can a barbara walters interview be far behind.

the revolution has just taken two large steps backwards.  mabra in conjunction with the plutocratic forces of big money in cycling rejoices!

- - - posted by scott

. . . and then they came for us all . . . .

first, they came for the fixed gears, but i am not really a fixed gear rider, so i said nothing.  i think you all know how this ends... 

the racing union is currently out of the office attending to the needs of our dear comrade in cuba.  our hopes for a speedy recovery are with him.  all of the resources of the people's medical establishment have been made available and at this point, we hope for the best.

 

 

fidel castro

in consideration of our absence, and in honor of his manifold contributions to the glorious revolution, we offer an encore presentation of a post which we would make even this old warhorse a bit misty with nostagia...

viva la revolucion!

you may leave your thoughts for the people's hero in the comments section. 

i was planning to avoid this.  but people are just writing stuff that's not right.  and i don't care much for that.

 

>>>-----Original Message-----

>>>From: David Allen

>>>Sent: Thursday, July 27, 2006 1:37 PM

>>>

>>>I agree that doping is a serious problem and needs to

>>>be promptly and severely dealt with when it is

>>>discovered but what safeguards, if any, are in place

>>>to protect riders who are either intentionally or

>>>accidentally unjustly accused?

 

The problem here is that riders will always claim they did not dope and are the victims of either one or all of the following:

 

(a) an overzealous antidoping regime or agency

(b) a national sanctioning body that does not want them to get ahead

(c) a (intentionally or unintentionally) spiked nutritional product

(d) bad advice from a coach/soigneur/advisor

 

very few have the class to come clean and admit it.  i cannot remmeber the name of the world champion mountain biker who did htis.  I could google it but I'm so freaking lazy right now that it's beyond me.  millar also spilled the beans when he realized they had him dead to rights.  thiscompared to someone like virenque.  superlatives are useless in describing him. 

 

anyhow, from mr. allen's post, when you say they (riders) are unjustly accused, i feel that's a bit to general.  a test in a certified laboratory was performed, by qualified diagnostic personnel, presumably using good quality standards to calibrate the machinery.  if they are "accused", it is generally on this basis.  if your throat hurts and you see a doctor and he does a swab and he subsequently calls you and says you have strep, you don't ask for another test or a second opinion.  ask yourself why this is the case. 

 

if a rider i concerned about their ability to make a living by racing a bike, they must deny the allegation that they cheated in the strongest terms.  (example: tyler hamilton swore over the body of his dead dog tugboat that he had not cheated, and many people bought that story: hook, line and sinker.  his case was repeatedly arbitrated and his defense was found to be substantially lacking. 

he still has not come clean about what happened, in spite of overwhelming evidence.  he is serving a two year ban.  was he unjustly accused?)

 

i don't think this point should be conceded.  drunkenly yelling "dopage" and "j'accuse" at racers from a hillside in southern france is unjustly accusing them.  you have no factual basis for doing so.  but making an assertion based on results from a laboratory which has done a proper analysis doesn't strike me as the slightest bit malicious.  it's objectively based, not subjectively based.

 

now there may be issues or mitigating circumstances.  floyd has obviously passed numerous tests this year given his palmares so the result does seem odd, or rather, at odds with previous tests.  if floyd is getting good advice, he will have lawyered up and they will depose everyone in sight.  they will be sure the samples were appropriately cared for.  they will examine the standards used to calibrate the machinery.  they'll look at the service records on the gas chromatograph or mass spec units.  they'll interview the analysts and go through their procedures in minute detail.  and they will look for a mistake.  they will endlessly discuss the rate fo type 1 and type 2 errors coming from the analysis.

 

but even if they find one, can you still say that the person was unjustly accused?  the lab followed their standard procudure and they have been certified by wada.  everyone screws up on occasion.  it happens.  but the lab followed procedure and returned the result.  i'm not arguing that the current set of drug rules is a good idea (i'm not sure it is) and i'm not arguing that the current system is fair (i'm fairly certain it's not) but the rules were well defined and they appear to have been followed.

  

>>> -----Original Message-----

>>> From: Ron Carl

>>> Sent: Friday, July 28, 2006 10:21 AM

 

>>> Maybe it’s just me, but I believe that it is extremely

>>> unfair to speculate on the guilt or innocence of someone

>>> until all of the test results are in.

>>> When we see the results of the B test all this speculation

>>> and chatter may be for nothing.

this is true.

 

>>> A single and be beneficial (sic) is to send out samples to other labs that

>>> are completely outside of the cycling community. It may be extreme but how

>>> about sending samples to say the FBI? Apparently the quality of the test

>>> from and the FBI labs are used to catch terrorists and serial killers and

>>> send them to jail for capital punishment. I think that makes them more than

>>> capable of performing the tests. OK so maybe this is a bit extreme but how

>>> about a lab specifically set up in a neutral location with no ties to racing

>>> whatsoever and governed in such a way that it is completely impartial. Regular

>>> testing of the equipment and sterility of the lab assured.

 

i sort of feel like i get to have all the fun.  so i'm turning this one over to the rabble in comments.  there's a lot to look at here.  i mean assuming the dhs hasn't compiled all of this information on us already.  your turn.  is this a good idea?  why or why not?

 

- - - posted by scott