In honor of the glorious revolution in cycling and the continued re-ordering of the status quo, the supreme revolutionary council of the Racing Union and the sub-committee on progressive digestion announces a celebration to be held at Hains Point this coming Monday, October 23, 2006 from noon until 1:30 in the picnic area.

The Union will provide free sustenance in the form of hot dogs, cookies, and various other Union-approved refreshments.  Any and all cyclists and fellow travelers will be welcomed like brothers and sisters.

This event exists for the purpose of giving thanks to our comrades on wheels, who toil in the sun, the wind, the snow, the rain, and the traffic to make our community safer, though not yet safe, for cycling.

Attendance is required by all.

(sigh)

okay people.  i'm going to break this down.  it will seem obvious in retrospect, but it's obviously not obvious to a sufficiently large majority that corrective actions are necessary at this point.  you know that revolution we keep talking about?  the one that involves bicycles?  think back.  you may need to re-read some of the older posts to re-acquaint yourself.  go ahead, i'll wait....

you back?  good.  let's jump into it.  in order to have a revolution involving bicycles, everybody has to, you know, pretty much ride bicycles.  biking isn't always the easiest way to get around (**) and it's just that much harder when your destination has no access to a safe place to lock up your bike.

as the union vanguard rode through washington this past week, we were repeatedly appalled at the shoddy accomodations that cyclists are offered. 

while we generally feel it is unacceptable, it is especially unacceptable for a large organization that bills itself as progressive, and as an incubation chamber for improvements to third world countries to give it's first world employees third world accomodations for their first world bikes. 

one of the union vanguard brought our ride to a screetching halt in the middle of pennsylvania avenue, and delivered a stunning extemporaneous speech which excoriated this smug, self-congratulatory institution for it's lack of attention to cyclists and it's inability to practice what it preaches.

the example below was by far the worst.  the fact that this worker, this citizen, this proud fellow cyclist needed to endure these types of conditions was unthinkable until we witnessed it first hand.  now the racing union doesn't go around like some celebrity actor or actress who flies to a central african republic and then spends two weeks (but no more) telling everyone in the most genteel manner possible how horrible the conditions are.  we've talked about this before and we'll undoubtedly talk about it again.

in fact, in the near future, we'll be talking about htis a whole lot.  but for now, the message is simple.  you had better do better than this.

- - - posted by scott

(** this is just a statement of fact.  i'll bet virtually everyone reading this is a pretty avid cyclist _and_ that virtually everyone reading this owns at least one car.  if we can't do the car free lifestyle, how can you seriously expect others to do it?  q.e.d.)

union forces amassed along the potomac today.  the plan was to storm bethesda, acquire rations, spread our zeal for the union message and then slip undetected into the gray suburban environment before the oppressive forces of mabra could be marshalled to silence us.  we knew they were looking for us so we opted to dress incognito.  incidentally, those gang signs mike is throwing up are not "union-approved".

josh met us at a base of the capital crescent.  he's on an off-week from his chemotherapy regimen and wanted to get out.  he went straight to the front and stayed there.  simply amazing.  that guy kicks ass.

dc is a bagel wasteland.  it's as if a whole bunch of people just woke up one day and realized that, well, you can just throw any old lump of dough with a hole in the center into some water, bake it, call it a bagel and charge a dollar for it.  this is not "union-approved".  there are still a few establishments around that produce solid products and obviously take pride in their work.  these places are as close as we can get to the traditional methods, products and quality that one would find in any artisanal butcher and baker's shop throughout europe.  and it's what you can expect after the revolution when we devolve this society back down into a series of agrarian communes with a focus on subsistence.  but more on that later!

the fact that we need to ride to bethesda to find a decent bagel is hardly the main point of this post though.  it was chilly but the sun was out and it was clear and a beautiful day.  a chance to ride our bikes, talk amongst ourselves, tell some jokes and stuff our faces. 

statement approved by the people’s congress
through the directorate of communications
authorized by the supreme revolutionary council
command bunker, plaza de la revolucion
www.racingunion.org

day 269 of the glorious revolution in cycling and the social order

racing union communication rc-654-fy75-d543-269

to: the national sanctioning body for bicycle racing in the united states
from: racing union
re: a deconstruction and explication of your “club of the year” contest and a demand that the contest be ended now and that racing union be recognized in the short term as what you call the “club of the year” for its tremendous wisdom and energetic contributions to the glorious cause, and hailed as the prototype for all current and future cycling organizations

background
in december of last year, a number of prominent cyclists in the mid-atlantic area were meeting regularly in coffee houses.  these impromptu salons were filled with discussion, debate and banter regarding the current state of cycling.  from these meetings came the recognition that our current leadership, indeed our current societal structure, lacks the ability to help both riders and racers realize their goals and aspirations. 

this bold vanguard chose a new path, an alternative route, that would seek to overturn the subtle tyranny and the stifling effect of the status quo.  they came together under a single banner and named their effort “racing union”.  racing union!  first and foremost in all things, the bright beacon leading racers and riders to the new day promised by the glorious revolution.  the pathfinder!  the messenger and the message!  racing union, hope and inspiration to all who toil on two wheels under human power!..  ever vigilant and faithful in seeking to advance the glorious cause.

formal statement of our position
we demand that you name us club of the year.  the racing union does not seek awards, but in this case, it should be obvious that to present the award to any other team would be a gross miscarriage of justice and an equally grave disservice to the collective body of racers and riders. 

rationale
your current application process appears to ask clubs such ill-suited questions as how many masters or juniors or women’s racers their team has, or how many and what sorts of events did your team promote? 

the former question is  truly inappropriate.  all cyclists are citizens and have equal value.  it is true that in the nascent stages of our philosophy, some of our leaders felt that some cyclists were more equal than others, but this has long since been repudiated.  truly, all citizens are, in principle, members of the racing union, and we take great pride in knowing that one day, they will all work collectively towards our common goals.

the latter question also does a disservice in that it does not stress the progressive values that all promoters should be employing: no cash prizes, no entry fees for juniors, running events as not-for-profit and returning money to racers if entry fees exceed financial outlays.  and you are not even asking clubs to discuss how many citizens have they helped to discover cycling or how many are now more productive citizens because they have integrated the bike into their routine through commuting. 

this constitutes a woefully narrow view of the types of things a cycling club can accomplish, and indeed should be seeking to accomplish.  these questions you pose will elicit responses from a vast, indistinguishable mass of organizations which simply want to tell you what you want to hear. 

as any collective farm worker would know, the rooster seeks to draw attention by crowing louder and preening longer, but this same rooster often ignores the fact that other roosters simultaneously do the same.  in this preening and crowing, it makes itself more similar than dissimilar to the others.  and so it is with this “club of the year” contest.  these organizations will attempt to ingratiate themselves to you by endlessly describing what they think you wish to hear.  in this regard, to call them sycophants, toadies or lickspittles is to be kind.  in the same manner that bland, identical prefabricated houses erupt from ground to corrupt the landscape on any green swath, teams that number like the stars in the sky will present themselves to you in all their finery, eager to convince that they have gone above and beyond what was expected of them. 

and where does this leave the racers, the riders and the commuters?  who will speak for them while you and your clubs proceed on this delusional, self-congratulatory track, which is no more than a crooked tentacle of pride-woven aggression?  while this regrettable ruse on both your parts is somewhat understandable, we cannot and will not allow it to continue.  the racing union has set the straightforward goal of leading the vanguard in the great and glorious cause: the revolution in cycling and the social order.  the subtle tyranny of the status quo, manifest in the bourgeois sensibilities of current clubs and administrators, will eventually lead to the complete downfall of cycling as both a sport and recreation.  this can not only be prevented, but a strong, prosperous future can be brought about, where all citizens know the pleasure of an afternoon ride, or anticipate the first cyclosportif of the spring.  the racing union seeks sea-change in how people view the bicycle: no longer some costly, exotic racehorse which must be carefully maintained, or some piece of exercise equipment to be brought out on sunny weekends.  No the bicycle is to be the trusted comrade of all workers, transportation, recreation, a remarkable machine whose simple engineering belies it’s fantastic convenience and utility.  from the collective farms to the labour centers, from the markets to the schools, cycling will move from the periphery to the center of our daily lives.

individuals with a strong vested interest in maintaining the status quo will seek to question the propriety of our response.  the racing union has committed to show by example that competitive and recreational cycling can be administered through a different model.  there is no need for sponsorship of either teams or events.  cycling is a hobby and we should compete as amateurs.  the corrupting influence of money must be negated.  the confluence of social revolution and cycling is too powerful to resist.  embrace it now.

the manifesto: http://www.racingunion.org/Document.aspx?manifesto

 

i want to share a personal bias that i have.  i don't care for it when people ride on the trail or on roads with a walkman, or a diskman or whatever the heck type of device you kids listen to your boogie-woogie music on.  i especially don't care for it down at hains point, where people are riding at high speeds and close together.  i almost never say anything about this because i don't see it as my perogative to tell people how to do their thing, but i bottle up my loathing in a passive agressive way.

this morning, chris sent me a link to the latest frazz comic and it got me thinking about this. 

part of the humor of the strip turns on what might be a generational disconnect or it might be a disconnect between their outlooks.  either way, the punchline at the end shows that though they are talking to each other, they are not really hearing what the other person is saying.

which brings me to where i'm at.  i try to be really good about telling people when i am passing on a trail or a road.  but i have stopped doing that if i see earbuds or a cell phone.  it may be immature or petulant or expose an irrational prejudice i have but i sort of feel like if you're taking yourself out of our common environment, that i can't really interact with you so it's not worth the effort.  the epitome of this is the people with the bluetooth phone ear pieces.  you can find them anywhere in downtown dc, walking along, talking to nobody: the modern urban crazy homeless,except these guys are wearing brooks brothers suits and extremely thin swiss watches.  but they look just as crazy.

now once we start podcasting union news and education services, we may need to rethink this position, but for now, i will take the sound of respiratory activity any time, any day.

- - - posted by scott

p.s. i miss the days of anton quist, when he would sing gilbert and sullivan on training rides.  that was entertaining.

brothers and sisters: we will prevail.

- - - posted by josh

last night, josh and i hooked up with jim (the unholy roleur), eric and dana from coppis, and kevin from my office for some fixed gear laps at hains point followed by some pints at gordon biersch.  the ride was nice.  josh, who is about to begin a medical odyssey, looked good and seemed upbeat.  it was very nice to see him out.  he also showed considerably more prudence than the rest of us.  after riding a few laps, he called it quits.  i suggested another lap for the remainder and we commenced.  and then the rain came.  and it was really an impressive rain; a torrential summer thunderstorm kind of rain.  we navigated through dc, picked up some extra bike locks and then headed for beer.  (side note, the people at gordon biersch were remarkably non-plussed when we showed up, dripping wet, in spandex, wringing out our gloves in their foyer.  they showed us to a table.  they obviously understood the union ethos and knew we needed libations after a hard days work sticking it to the man)  the pub had a newish octoberfest on tap.  it was good, but not as good as the maertzen in my highly informed opinion.  and a good time was had by all the revolutionaries.

jim and i have been discussing putting on a small scale charitable event soon.  stay tuned for details.

- - - posted by scott

With difficulties in fitting low-tooth-count cogs on the rear wheel, the Union hereby sanctions use of the above 100-tooth chainring for training rides.  Below are the union-approved rings for children and toddlers, respectively.

racing union will offer three proposals at the mabra annual meeting in an attempt to wrest power from the current corporatist oligarchy and return it to where it belongs, in the hands of the people.  we welcome comments on any and all of these ideas.  all responsible cyclists and citizens are working to help us adopt such plans.  join your neighbors, fill the streets, proclaim the union message!  da! union, da!

Proposal one: mabra will remit to member clubs $5 per rider per team for all licensed riders shown on the USAC database as a specified date (i.e. Oct 30, 2006 or Dec 31, 2006 or some other date that is deemed appropriate or convenient by the mabra board of directors.)  In 2005, there were approximately 1472 riders licensed in mabra, so a reasonable measure of the costs of this proposal would be $7500.  rationale: if one looks at annual expenditures and current and expected revenues, mabra is exceedingly solvent by any measure.  Current mabra funds have been collected from racers and license sales and there is no specific need now or on the immediate horizon for these funds.  Returning these funds to clubs to fund program activities, allow expansion of or even simply to help offset rising license costs seems like a reasonable measure.  This is a one time proposal and is not to be construed as an ongoing expense.  Note: should the current fiscal outlook change, or should the mabra president or treasurer make a determination that this proposal appears to represent an unnecessary risk to the association, we will respectfully withdraw the proposal.

Proposal two: for events in mabra that benefit a charity, mabra will remit to the promoter the $1/rider that it collects at races up to the amount that is donated.  To qualify, promoters would need to submit a brief plan (one paragraph indicating which charity was the beneficiary) in advance of their race date for consideration by the mabra BOD.  The mabra bod may elect to waive the fee at it’s discretion and all of it’s decisions would be final.  This plan would not effect the normal paperwork flow.  Events would go off as they do now and all fees would be collected.  promoters would need to submit a brief post-event summary and some documentation of the funds transferred (i.e. photocopy of the cancelled check) to the mabra secretary.  Rationale: this would have a relatively small impact on the overall solvency of mabra and help foster events that are charitable in nature.

Proposal three: the meeting minutes from the monthly mabra BOD meeting should be posted on the mabra web site within 10 days of the meeting.  Rationale: currently, the secretary does an excellent job of transcribing the activity of the mabra board of directors meetings and documenting the discussions and policy decisions.  However, this information is not always made available to the public.  Mabra is an association of it’s member clubs.  As such, it can only help the organization for it to be as transparent as possible.  Posting the information on a public forum makes it accessible and helps to reinforce the idea that all clubs have a voice in how mabra is run.

 

- - - posted by scott

there are a number of voices out there that are often characterized as confrontational, revolutionary or counter-cultural.  whether hugo chavez's recent remarks at the united nations made you cringe or laugh so hard that coffee came out your nose, they are provocative.  you may choose to dismiss them out of hand, concluding that they are intended to be dramatic and attention-grabbing, and ultimately unserious.  but often they force you to think a bit more about how you feel about things.

if this article is correct, we will be losing daily access to a powerful voice that goes against the grain of our cultural norms and forces us to confront some of the things we often prefer not to think about.

there are many things that people think but don't express.  there are abundant sources of hypocrisy, both obvious and subtle. 

the union obviously supports people with strong voice and perspective, and magruder's got it.  yup.  you can disagree with his point of view or his characterization of facts but i think that to ignore him is to miss some valuable observations about our country.  there is no small degree of irony in the washington post reporting on this loss of a controversial voice after helping to marginalize that same voice by repeatedly dropping the strip.  anyone who has trolled their editorial page is aware that there's no lack of strong or counter-factual opinions being expressed in the paper.

i think we are all somewhat more impoverished when we lose resources such as this. 

- - - posted by scott (not be construed as reflecting the view of the union, my opinions only)

i got a few emails recently about why the union eschews sponsorship.  so many people seem to take a shine to it.  and a select few seem to have an uncomfortable sense of entitlement towards it.  sponsorship cash seems like such a good idea at the time.  some businessman or businesswoman orders a dumptruck load of cash dropped on your front lawn in the hopes that you'll go really fast, and somehow by going fast, you'll advertise their product and grow their business. 

the cash feels good, makes it easier to focus on what you need to do to be fast.  but before long, you're pimping just about anything for enough money for a new rear derailleur.  think back to joe jacoby and his theatrevision advertisements.  who didn't cringe while watching those, secretly and desperately hoping that the arc their life took didn't take them to that.  but it always comes to that.  I expect to see many of you in advertisements just like this one in the next few years...

 

i can't quite tell if he's got a cigarette in his mouth in the upper left hand picture but i sort of like to hope so.  and you can bet that if we build a velodrome anywhere nearby, that smoking will not just be allowed, but de rigeur.  for all racers, a two pack minimum.

awesome!  oh yeah, and as an extra bonus, if you want to understand why people in SUV's think you're gay, look no further than this ad, where two fit guys are rubbing each other down with embrocation.  you think lemond or lance would pose for this?  fat chance.  maybe hamilton or julich.

bring it in the comments.

- - - posted by scott