the february mailbag is such a weak and tired collection of bitching and moaning that i can't even bring myself to publish it.  really people, if this keeps up i will die of ennui.  i didn't think the principles of the glorious revolution in cycling and the social order were so abstract or difficult to internalize.  i considered trying to change attitides based on our current government's behaviour management program but i dismissed that as unlikely to succeed.  heck, it didn't work for them and they've used it for years.  i do not have years people.  we need to get this party going.  now.  ahora mismo.  immediamente! 

i considered using some alternate materials which might hold your microscopic attention spans a few seconds longer.  however, initial testing produced unexpected, unpleasant and unacceptable reactions.

so we're going to start it out real simple like, using very basic tools that you imperialist mouth breathers probably spend an awful lot of time viewing on a regular basis. 

watch this several times and then we'll see about moving on to some more advanced material.  for those of you who are a bit further along in the curriculum, we can have a spirited discussion of the joys and irony of using capitalist tools of citizen control (tv images, mass produced culture) for our own purposes in the comments. 

- - - posted by scott

yesterday, i needed to consult with racing union legal counsel on a number of miscellaneous matters.  we roll hard, and occasionally, we need backup.  and backup we've got.

one of the topics brought up was seeking justice for those citizens who fall injured in the line of duty, valiantly struggling on two wheels, through unacceptable conditions.  roads are cleared but multi-use paths are left alone, untreated, and barely rideable.  does the state, and i'm using state in the largest and most generic sense here of the agent in control, have some obligaiton to make sure all rights of way are safe including multi-use trails?

this is really complicated.  first off, ownership (and stewardship and maintenance) of some of the extensive trail networks in our area is not entirely clear, at least to me.  we are all familiar with obvious examples of different approaches that different jurisdictions may take.  the doctor gridlock discussion on the post web site yesterday involved some questions on this topic, pointing out that the CCT is generally cleared in DC but as soon as you hit the maryland border, it's untreated.  is this because the dc section is maintained by the national park service and the maryland section is maintained by some other agency such as maryland national capital park and planning service?  unclear.  but why would they have different ideas about whether the multi-use paths need to be cleaned or not.

while you're figuring that out, you may also struggle with whether someone can actually bring a case against a jurisdiction for injury sustained on an untreated path.  racing union legal division pointed out a few useful things.  you would need permission to bring the case and that may not be the easiest thing to do.  even if you could bring the case, dc, md and va all incorporate the ideas of contributory negligence into decisions so it's unclear what your rights versus responsibilities are.

kevin posted some useful information on cases which illustrate some of these principles:

sample case: http://www.cicle.org/cicle_content/pivot/entry.php?id=1297#body

more information on a similar case: http://www.cicle.org/cicle_content/pivot/entry.php?id=1300#body

just to be clear, i'm not suggesting people go out on dangerous, icy trails, take a long and traumatic tumble (the yard sale) and then look for a free lunch courtesy of a hungry lawyer.  i'm more interested in the issue from the perspective of regarding alternative transportation as a serious alternative.  when snow and ice comes, "the state" is serious about clearing the roads.  i hardly expect them to be equally serious about clearing paths, but some areas are not the slightest bit serious about it now.  lobbying doesn't seem to work.  i'm curious as to whether other types of pressure can be brought to bear on the situation.

-sg

so natural.  so perfect.  the proper way to start the day.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/26/AR2007022601203.html

we used to show up to group rides with a box or three of dunkins or krispy kremes.  i loved how guys would get all sanctimonious and tell me that their body was a temple and they didn't ingest garbage.  they'd preach on that for a while.  in the meantime, we'd be stuffing our faces, putting these things down like they were our last meal.  the things are like rocket fuel, like alcohol in the four barrel carbeurator.  tom meyer, an old teammate of mine, took to calling them "virginia power bars" because the guys from virginia always showed up to rides with a box, ate too many and just exploded out of the parking lot on a massive sugar rush.

instead of musettes, team directors should hand up sticks with dounts stacked on them.  that would be tight.

-sg

oh, yeah, and we've backed the racing union commuter climactic alert system (ruccas) level back down to yellow.  the wo&d and custis trail are clear from the washington beltway to their respective termination points near the district of columbia.  bryan and i rode them last night and they are ducky.  as soon as you get past gallows road going west, it's a different story entirely and i'd recommend avoiding it.  so all citizens and cyclists should be on their bikes again.  all hail the glorious cause that is the revolution in cycling and the social order.

also, quicksilver is cancelled for 2/24/2007.  please pass that along to your friends who may not be on the appropriate email lists.

-sg

in a truly puzzling turn of events, our government has chosen to embrace a maoist course of action to achieve decidedly non-maoist objectives. 

http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/829441.html

the idea that conflict, and specifically armed struggle, is necessary to bring about social change was present around the edges of marxist-leninist thought but really came to the front under mao.  in fact, the major schisms in political philosophy between china and soviet union were predominantly based on the ideas among the chinese vanguard that the soviet union was willing to diplomatically engage with the west and as a result become tacitly corrupted in the process

you know, i'm probably going to lose all my revolutionary street cred here, and the social-labor-workers-democratic-cooperative-nihilist-alliance party will probably pull my membership, but lately i've bene more of a mind to take to the philosophy of lennon rather than that of lenin.  but let's keep that on the down low...

-sg

One must seek to understand the pressing issues of our time, but without the baggage and distortion of the pre-revolutionary mindset.  the society that fails to embrace and elevate the bicycle will fail repeatedly.  and worse still, their conceptual blinders, bred into them by media and capitalism, will prevent them from seeing the true source of their mistakes.  hence they are doomed to repeat ever greater disasters; a downward spiral, from great and lofty heights to the mean and low pits of mediocrity.

you can break this cycle through education.  begin here:

a marxist analysis of the decline of the simpsons.

http://theproles.blogspot.com/2007/02/marxist-analysis-of-simpsons.html

i'll be out of town all weekend, and from the looks of the forecast, most of you will be cooped up inside.  don't fret.  make a nice "stone fence" and sit down and read some wild bike stuff...

http://howtofixbikes.blogspot.com/

exceedingly cool.  post the stuff you've been surfing in comments and we'll bump the best stuff up into separate entries. 

-sg

p.s. maybe this will finally convince mikhail to turn over and make public his special exploratory photojournalism work into alternative bicycle geometries of the revolutionary liberal arts colleges of the midwest.

p.p.s.  if you do go out for a long ride, be safe.  bundle up, tell someone how long you'll be gone and where you're going.

our brothers and sisters abroad on two wheels throw a nice party and what happens?  the man mucks it up. 

http://www.periodico26.cu/english/sports/byke021207.htm

so.  god.  damned.  typical.

i have to admit that this makes no sense to me on any level.  even assuming i wasn't a radicalized revolutionary, i'd assume people would want to spread their own personal gospel and help facilitate change.  self-indulgent capitalists could go over there as ambassadors of the efficiency of free markets and distribute publications by the university of chicago school of economics.  assuming you're some sort of american nationalist zealot, sending people over there as spies and subversives (the classic james bond meets pat buchanan fantasy paranoia psychosis) to distribute copies of the u.s. constitution and ronald reagan's autobiography couldn't hurt and might help.  maybe you're just not big on socialism and want to politely engage them on their system.

no matter where you're coming from, wouldn't sending people over there as ambassadors be more effective than pouting and sulking and doing the whole "passive aggressive i'm not talking to you because you said hurtful things in a hurtful way" routine, which even my five year old son has mostly outgrown be an improvement?

next year.  cuban training camp from december through march.  you heard it here first.

yesterday, one of the many union stewardship and advisory committees met at an undisclosed location, and the meeting went well, with the exception of mikhail’s obsession with a split screen car chase on cnn which caused us to re-arrange our seating in the midst of a nuanced discussion of the differences between comrades mao’s and comrade lenin’s vision of how struggle and conflict precipitate revolution.  a small amount of re-education is likely in order, but that’s not the point of this communication.  one of the topics discussed was prayer breakfasts.  i got to wondering what the opposite of a prayer breakfast would be?  my answer, after careful thought, was sitting around in my boxers, drinking whiskey and watching the colbert report.  and along those lines, i offer this news, the only thing that could make the colbert report better….

http://entertainment.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=251651&affid=100055

this is union approved, and i want to offer, in advance, an indulgence.  any racing union rider this year who cannot fulfill their assigned duties in the course of a race and who indicates that consumption of this product was directly responsible for their inability to support the glorious cause will be held harmless.  that may not be expansive enough.  any rider, on any team, who succumbs to fatigue when engaged on two wheels on account of this confection will be considered a brother or sister of the union and will be welcomed and supported by us.

now, on the other hand, failing to support the glorious cause that is the revolution in cycling and the social order because you couldn’t train because you were sitting around in your boxers, drinking whiskey and watching this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjIfaMwIFxU&eurl=

will have you on the trains to the re-education camps so fast your head will spin.  forewarned is forearmed.  that is all.

fred hiatt is clearly a jackass, and when the revolution comes, he will be told that he’s got some ‘splainin to do.  but after reading this:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/11/ar2007021101170.html

i am forced to initiate the garry kasparov death watch betting book. 

method of death:
just happening to fall out of a car while on a highway.  it happens all the time.  7:2
just happening to fall out of a eighth story window.  could happen to anyone.  9:2
finding rare radioactive isotope in the beef wellington.  increasingly common.  5:3
the elmer fudd: shot in the head by your own shotgun.  not just in cartoons.  8:5
drowning while swimming in river.  hey, these guys are like polar bears.  15:2
chess board suddenly explodes with force of a daisy cutter.  less rare than you would think. 3:2

time frame of death.
before arrival of foreign dignitary: 5:2
during meetings with putin if foreign dignitary: 8:3
before protests of leaders autocratic management style: 7:6
during protests of leaders autocratic management style: 5:4
2 hours before a press conference announcing candidacy: off

i probably don't need to add this, but it should be clear that kasparov is a hero of the union.  for those of you who are unfamiliar with the real uscf, and incidentally the one that pops up on google well before the one you conformist lemmings kowtow towards, you know what sort of impact this man has had.  unlike american bobby fisher, he is using his celebrity powers for good.  listing kasparov's palmares would burnout an inkjet cartridge.  he will be sorely missed.

i think the union should initiate the uscf biathlon.  all contestants will compete in a 40k time trial.  they will then play a timed chess game, with their allotted time being the difference between their finishing time and 70 minutes.  Finish your TT in 54 minutes, you get 16 minutes on your clock.  finish in 1:07:00, you get 3 minutes on your clock. 

- - - posted by scott

Bicycling at Hains Point, 1942:  Hey, take Back the Streets!

Periodically, DCist runs a short piece that in some way advocates cycling as a means of commuting, along with a modest plea for some mutual respect between cyclists, motorists, and pedestrians.  Usually, this results in an unbelievable amount of vile hatred spewed at cyclists.  It’s like Lou Dobbs and immigrants – blame ‘em for all ills, and demonize those who disagree.  The only thing missing (a la Lou Dobbs, and frankly, most local politics in DC) is a little injection of race (clearly, they’re not trying hard enough!).

Today’s installation is, thus far, modest by comparison.  But it does have this beaut:

“In my time here I've found cyclists to be more annoying and deadly than cabs, buses or even muggers. They are a people with no laws, no rules and no sense.”

Hey, we are “a people”!  Cool!  Maybe we can have a homeland given to us too!

If you want to waste your time and get your blood pumping a little (like I did), you can find more crap here (and, to be honest, I find the original article not really worthwhile – some good thoughts are contained therein, but they’re certainly not comprehensive, balanced, or even with any particular sense of priority):

http://www.dcist.com/archives/2007/02/02/dcists_rules_of.php#comments

-- posted by Chris

Some great women have Texas roots.  Barbara Jordan.  Ann Richards.  Sadly, neither of these great politicians are with us today.  Now, another one of my favorite Texans has been lost to us.  I was so saddened to see in the obits this morning that Molly Ivins has died from breast cancer.  A few quotes to remember her by:

"Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful."

"The first rule of holes:  when you're in one, stop digging."

-posted by Chris