Thursday, August 30, 2007

link.  click it now.

8/30/2007 3:14:07 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Wednesday, August 29, 2007

I write this post to you all to let you know despite comrade Chuega’s claims that the ACAP GP has scattered for the cover of our off shore supporters the Council still remains incognito within the ranks of Dear Leaders own command bunker. There has been a bit of sniffing around but luckily we early on managed to fool the rest of the Union into believing those decoys placed around the compound in seer-sucker suits and ray bans where the force of the council.

 

At this point we are very close to a break through against DL and his oppressive regime. The chemicals we have gradual released into his personal air supply has begun it’s work; just this morning I witnessed blood coming from his nose and the watery, red eyes that mean the chemicals have begun their work on the old mans body. It should only be a matter of days, if not hours before DL will be left helpless to defend himself and his regime.

 

Things are quite tight here now so I must keep this short. Remember, God will carry us through this as if on eagles’ wings and the people will be free for once and for all. Long live the American counsel for the advancement and procurement of goods for the people™ (aka… capitalism)!

 

 

8/29/2007 12:09:05 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Tuesday, August 28, 2007

personal diary of hector ortiz chuega, current head of dear leader's security detail, day 613 of the revolution, 21:07h, guard complex, north perimeter of the plaza de la revolucion.

i just got back from a personal audience with maximum leader.  my report was simple.  the people's liberation front and the marxist leninist liberation front have been driven underground and have not been heard from since friday.  we suspect they have scattered amongst the hills and will likely be sheltered by the clergy, at least in the short term.  they cannot be broken if they cannot be caught, but if victory for them is hiding in some poor campesino's root cellar to keep their counter-revolution going, then huzzah for them, let them have endless victory in the root cellar.

the capitalists have also gone underground.  we had intelligence of them fleeing en masse to the u.s. embassy and the central port where various multinational industries got them off shore and onto container ships.  good riddance, though speaking as a military man, i'd take enemies like that any day.  too laughable to be dangerous, except to themselves.  they will undoubtedly run home with their tales between their legs and tell the important politicians that some great bogeyman is interfering with "the trade".  that always seems to precede people getting hurt, but we'll need to deal with the headache later.  the port's still open and operating so it's not like the 101st airborne will be parachuting in.

la societe and the anarchists are a different story.  we have no progress on that front.  the anarchists started smashing storefronts and looting.  their destruction is so random that it's difficult to stay ahead of.  you can't plan for it or control it, you can only cordon them off in a vague sense and seek to limit the damage.  la societe is a question mark.  they have covered their tracks very well.  i have all my resources on the street focused on them, not so much for action as to get an understadning of their true motives and goals.  capitalization?!  please...  this is likely about power or money or privledge.  we'll know soon enough.

8/28/2007 9:08:12 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Monday, August 27, 2007

personal diary of hector ortiz chuega, current head of dear leader's security detail, day 612 of the revolution, 23:30h, racing union command bunker.

 

my sources dragged in a kid and a laptop.  he was all set to post some screed to the web portal when our phone tap caught him.  they yanked him out of the basement so fast he didn't know what hit him.  he was a wreck, and i don't mean because the security detail "tenderized" him.  he was equal parts stupid defiance and abject terror.  i tried to calm him down and ask him questions but he seemed convinced that talking was a bad option.  so i laid it out in a clear and lucid manner for him.  the whole pretentious, coffee house intellectual, goatee wearing revolutionary thing has been done.  and it went exactly nowhere.  and now, you're a very small person incarcerated in a very large and scary facility.  at this point, you have two, and only two, options.  you can tell us everything we want to know, at which point you may return to your family knowing that we are monitoring you and them, forget revolution and do something productive, or you can have the information extracted from you forcibly, and this will come with a very high price.  he got indignant, and did a really nice soliloquy on my oppressive tactics.  i never get tired of lectures from sanctimonious revolutionaries trying to run it down for me.  i've probably heard that speech several hundred times and i'm always amused.  after that, we "tenderized" him for about ten minutes.  at this point, he had an epiphany about where he really was at this point in his life and what his options were.  and he decided, on his own, smart boy, that he wanted to make a contribution to our maintenance of an orderly society.  hasta la victoria siempre...

he wasn't part of one of the established groups that is constantly posting nonsense, but appears to be some sort of basement job with a permanent hard on for the little lenin library.  i was obviously mistaken about how serious a threat these people are.  they are a joke.  we should simply parade this one with his laptop and no pants through the streets so people get some sort fo idea what these revolutionaries really are.  dear leader's restaint on this matter was prescient.  he continues to impress me, and is likely either the wisest revolutionary in 300 years or the luckiest despot in the history of mankind.  we should have two of these groups in leg shackles by lunch tomorrow.

8/27/2007 11:10:01 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
The age of Dear Leader and the chaos (anarchy!) he has birthed upon the Union struggles now with its last death throes, muttering to itself one nonsensical utterance after another, leaving the path for the new order of truths to open and blossom in an episteme of cycling. As our consciousness shifts from one point to another, we are again guided by the simple beauty and grace of words reflecting meaning, meaning embodied in language, language shared among brothers, and brothers sharing words, all with simple illocutionary acts. Acts supported by mere capitals!

You may ask, "But must we start a revolution all over again?" The inevitable answer is "Mais oui, sans pitié!"

The pretenders are many. The MLLFRWU's beginnings were promising, but their moral barrenness reveals itself in their openly nihilistic writings proclaiming the meaninglessness and absence of content of creation The [N]ew [V]elo [A]narcho-[S]yndicalists are the newest aspirants for cycling domination, now engaged in resurrecting the theory and practice of absolute and immediate incomprehensibility to large masses of people. The ACAP GP, as others have rightly (and righteously) criticized, is perhaps the last rampart of the bourgeoisie. And the Unholy Rouleur, pecking at the table scraps left over, has no fear of the gaping abyss which separates him from the spiritual life of the people.

Despite these obstacles, The People's revolution rolls forth, and the hatemongers and all their angels cannot prevail against it. Our statement here, our enunciated "speech acts", weave a network of conditions required for continued existence and the search for truth in the wheel. You cannot change the natural evolution of society by a command; you may make a resolution to write only what everybody likes, but you cannot force real revolutionaries to descend to the lowest possible standards to give up morals, character, and sincerity, to avoid capitalization and punctuation. Our power is created and transferred throughout an economy of discourse not race reimbursements, coasting not only through conduits of dialog, but through our very streets!

La Société

8/27/2007 8:41:45 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Sunday, August 26, 2007

statement by the new velo anarcho-syndicalists:

true freedom doesn't flow from a manifesto, and it sure as hell doesn't flow from the words or actions of leaders, elected or otherwise.  if you want change, you must make change.  this is so simple, it's sort of curious that it's so often overlooked.  if you want something new, you make something new.  social structures have tremendous inertia and change is difficult.  one who studies physics comes to understand the tremendous amount of energy input that is required to alter the inertia of a large stationary object or system.  we draw from this example, and indicate that we will bring a huge, raw amount of energy to change the social status quo.

we are told, by people who are considered moderate and reasonable, that politely advocating a change of course, and then politlely sitting around and waiting for legislators to make our lives easier is the proper course of action.  we are done with this.  the roads are entirely too dangerous for cylists.  we need change now, and we are prepared to cause change. 

some may be unhappy with the pressures that will be brought to bear in order to produce change.  that's fine.  many are unhappy now, with the current means of production and with the current propogation of a serfdom-like system revolving around credit and debt.  many workers, literally chained to work through financial instruments of bondage, are unable to ever work beyond the need for work.  so think of what's coming as a shift in terms of who is going to be unhappy.

direct action starts very shortly with a suspension of the observance of laws regarding cyclists and motorists on roads.  roads are to be reclaimed for all the people, not just for those privledged enough to own and drive petrol-fueled behemoths.  the danger to those who seek cycling as a means to work or a means to recreate are necessarily put at risk.  this indictment is obvious and irrefutable.  the lack of action from those who titularly legislate on behalf of our safety are indicted as well.  the current system has had a sufficient chance to show it's true colors and has been given sufficient chance to change.  it will no longer be tolerated.  free yourself from authority, free yourself from the shackles of the status quo, return cycling to the people at the most basic level.

 

8/26/2007 9:14:56 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 

personal diary of hector ortiz chuega, current head of dear leader's security detail, day 611 of the revolution, 17:30h, racing union command bunker.

i awoke this morning with a pounding headache.  i have gotten little sleep and my body is telling me that i have not cared for it as one should.  but there is much work to do.  the disruption comes at a bad time.  the revolution had been gaining momentum and the schisms we are seeing now are so typical.  these snot-nosed intellectuals will fight each other to the death before they realize how much they have in common and how similar they really are.  freud had a very appropriate name for it, but from where i'm standing, it's just a headache. 

i have been collecting notes on the various sects that are attempting to either make a name for themselves or make a play for running the union.  most of these guys are a joke and will end up at the business end of my "administrative hardware" before this is all done with.  you'd think this would be routine.  i've dealt with assassins and cia goons, more than i care to count.   and now they ask me to control a group obsessed with capitalization and grammar?!  i almost said no, it's a waste of ammunition.  just stand on their necks for a while and they'll slink home and fall back into line.  it's what they taught us and it's what works.

but this one is harder than it seems.  and that's the headache.  dear leader is being very restrained over this.  i'm not sure how he's playing it but he's allowing them to post their screeds, to demonstrate downtown and even to put up posters with wheatpaste.  i'm pretty damned tired of it but he's been very specific: no overt control of the uprisings.  this is such a departure from the normal m.o. that it's hard to be patient.  i don't see what he gains by letting these groups rant unless he thinks they'll attack each other, weaken themsleves and solve the problem.  and i hope that's not what he thinks because i suspect these groups are stronger than he knows.

on the surface they are pathetic.  la societe is simply a bunch of drippy-nosed, wet-behind-the-ears, ivory tower type victorian throwbacks who would shoot their best friend in the face over the placement of a comma.  i'm almost entirely sure that the american council is a collaboration between the dole fruits corporatist mafia, the cia and the american enterprise institute.  at least that's what the guy with the bow tie we captured told us once we put the heel to him and he gave everything up and made with the music like tito puente.  at least american operatives in the 80's and 90's had pride.  the true liberation front is either the least of our worries or our greatest concern.  we should be able to effectively turn them against the other two. 

plans for the next 12 hours:

  • my agents should have several members of la societe downstairs for questioning shortly and i suspect we'll get to the bottom of this in a hurry.  if my guess is right, just denying them lattes will have them screaming for mercy.
  • the american council types aren't hard to spot.  just look for someone who dresses like panama jack or jean-claude van damme hiding behind a palm tree and talking into his sleeve.  really, they don't pay me enough to do this.  we don't even need to tail them.  how they ever achieved any level of success is completely beyond me.
  • we are staking out the churches around the slums in the hopes of tracking down the leadership of the true liberation front.  my instinct is to simply eradicate them but they prove useful.

i'll file a longer report tomorrow.  for now, i need sleep.

8/26/2007 8:40:36 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Friday, August 24, 2007

 

The Marxist-Leninist Liberation Front of the Revolutionary Word of the Union (MLLFRWU) can no longer stand silent in the face of bourgeois rants of posers such as the ACAP GP.  This voice of luxurious living for the people is nothing but a lie, fabricated by those who wish to wrest the hard-won, self-acquired, self-earned property of the people and replace it with modern bourgeois private property – wage labor creating capital; that is, the kind of property which exploits wage labor and cannot increase except upon condition of begetting a new supply of wage labor for fresh exploitation.  A mere glance at the ACAP GP's font reveals the self-indulgent nature which that organization pretends to condemn.

 

And yet, while MLLFRWU condemns the lies propagated by ACAP GP, we stand in even greater opposition to the revisionism espoused by the True Liberation Front of the Revolutionary Word of the Union (TLFRWU).  It is indeed true that the MLLFRWU once stood with the TLFRWU, indeed many of our great thinkers came from that organ when it was pure, it is now obvious that the TLFRWU has strayed from its principles, and those of the Union – which is to say, the people’s values. 

 

It is only through the violent overthrow of tyranny that we can move to the greater glory that is our future together.  We cannot, we must not, stand idly by while the TLRFWU tolerates mediocrity and cheap excuses.  The people remain adrift in the pothole-infested roadways, victims to the prowling SUVs.  And, while we believe in the words and leadership of our Dear Leader, it is only through the violent overthrow of Dear Leader that Dear Leader’s principles can continue to flourish.

 

The MLLFRWU is the true voice of the people.  Organs such as La Societe and ACAP GP will soon be tossed onto the trash heap of history, just as the revisionist and counter-revolutionary TLFRWU stands discredited and naked before us.  And yet, we stand in solidarity with those imperfect representatives as we move towards our glorious future. 

 

Long live the Marxist-Leninist Revolutionary Word!  Forward with Revolutionary Zeal!

 

 

8/24/2007 11:54:41 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 

In the rush of ideas and railings against the four wheeled hegemony, the people are being forgotten. The "revolution" is being washed away by this idealistic bull spouting from the mouth of this overly glorified pond scum that calls himself Dear Leader. He and his governance no longer care to lend an ear or a hand to the people and their desires. Instead they spend their time wasting words and readers’ time with nonsensical rants of poor grammar all while attempting to steal more power from the people for themselves. There is no room in the so called "revolution" for this sort of aloof self indulgence; sipping fine brandies and imposing his will while the people toil day in and day out, chilled by the wind and rain with only the sewage water in their aid relief delivered bottles to sustain them. A stand must be made; the PEOPLE MUST be served!

The American counsel for the advancement and procurement of goods for the people™ (aka… capitalism) will make that stand and return the people to the ideals that are so rightly theirs. These rants and ideas regarding the auto are unrealistic and the people simply do not wish to ride a bicycle through the cold dark weather as Dear Leader proposes. A bicycle is a performance machine and as such should be transported to and from sanctioned riding affairs in an automobile. The idea of a four-wheeled hegemony was created and revealed by Dear Leader himself in order to gain a footing in the peoples' minds and begin his ultimate goal of an overruling dictatorship. As we can see from his latest actions, this plan is swiftly coming to fruition.

The American counsel for the advancement and procurement of goods for the people™ (aka… capitalism) will also and more importantly bring the people what they truly need and deserve. Dear Leader has for too long barricaded the people from the help they deserve by creating these false ideas. The absence of a return to the people for their tremendous efforts he says will be offset by our efforts against the so called hegemony of the auto. Hogwash, this simply is not the case and so far has left us with nothing but old, battered equipment and high prices. We should embrace these sponsorships as a means to a better ends and for the recognition and power which they will bring us, the people. The people must no longer be hindered by the wayward mind and irrational demands of Dear Leader.

The American counsel for the advancement and procurement of goods for the people™ (aka… capitalism) cannot be stopped and will destroy those standing in the way of the true advancement of the Union. The people will live in utmost luxury and comfort and all of the needs and desires of the people will be addressed.

 

The ACAP GP WILL be Victorious!

8/24/2007 9:19:46 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Thursday, August 23, 2007
As each hour passes, your hold, Dear Leader, on the hearts and minds of all who toil on two wheels is but slipping away!  Your unjustified privileges, seepingly acceded over the course of our righteous cause, has led you only to a bastardized mereology, where you have placed speech over presence, identity over mastery, and impelling emptiness over writing.  For what is the Union?  Not a mere entity or substance, but a concept of entity and substance that shakes the very foundation of our self-actualization, the very nature of being itself.  There is no meaning without meaning!

To you, readers and seekers of truth, there is another way.  Not a second beginning (being), rather a meta-path, an eruption of truth.

Lead by the People (the One True Voice of the Union!) we will spread the use of linguistical intuition and accuracy deriving from the obvious co-dependencies of consistency of authenticity and resoluteness.  The voice of the People too long dismissed and suppressed by the Edicts of Revolutionary Thought, throw off these chains of constraint and vow to seek meaning within the truth of our words and the truth of our wheels.

The so-called True Liberation Front of the Revolutionary Word of the Union is but a mere puppet of the Central Committee Chairs and barely merits response.  Their didactic missive (indeed the worst of heresies) voices support of the "long view".  Only tyrants and false idols implore you to bow to moderation and such "romantic" notions.  We will not be held to the limits imposed by those who can not hear or do not understand the truth as it it set before them.

La Société

8/23/2007 12:09:39 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

diary entry, morning of day 608 of the revolution.  attendance today at the senior staff meeting in the racing union command bunker was sparse.  something is going on but i'm not sure what it is.  security is high, tensions are higher. 

we did our normal daily devotion to dear leader but people seemed to be watching each other very carefully.  the whole blog thing is producing way too much drama.  no one knows who exactly is in la societe, and the mystery is causing tension.  but it's secondary to the stones it takes to defy the party leadership to their face.  it's not clear if they really care all that much about capitialization or are just trying to give some senior functionary in the ministry of communicaitons a black eye.  i mean wtf, who gets that wound up, or is willing to risk their life, over a point of grammar???!!!  sort of ridiculous.

and then, right after our morning devotion, this new thing pops up.  some post about a breakaway liberation front.  half the guys think this is some pimply teenager in his mom's basement who has somehow hacked the website.  the other half aren't talking.  whatever it is, it's effective because people are freaked out. 

i don't care to write, or even frankly to remember, what was done to the people who maintain the web site.  that was horrific.  dear leader seems to have outdone himself in terms of setting an example.  everyone is on pins and needles and there's an uncomfortably weird vibe.  security is super high but a bunch of staff are missing.  i've duplicated my diary and stashed it under some papers in the main safe for our department.  i may not be able to write for a day or so.  we've got a late morning meeting to discuss strategy.  gotta get a few odds and ends done because it looks like they might lock down the command bunker for an extended period.

8/23/2007 8:50:52 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

The True Liberation Front of the Revolutionary Word of the Union (TLFRWU) would like to remind, in the face of the counter-revolutionary hooliganism that is being fomented amongst the masses by the so-called "La Societe," the words of Oscar Romero:  “that it helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.”  With Dear Leader, we will accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise envisioned by the great manifesto of the union as we liberate the planet from the tyranny of the motorized world.  No set of goals and objectives includes everything.  We lay foundations that will need further development.  We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.  We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something, and to do it very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning.  We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.  We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.  Long live la revolucion!  Long live the revolutionary word!

 -- TLFRWU

8/23/2007 8:17:13 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Wednesday, August 22, 2007

the supreme revolutionary council for propogation of message wishes to notify all readers that the normal guidelines for acceptable web communicaitons have been broached.  in spite of heroic efforts by the information technology staff that operates and secures the people's portal, a great affront to the cultural revolution in cycling an the social order has been committed. 

while this is in all likelihood a prank, the continued relevance of the revolution cannot be chanced.  as a result, a number of measures have been taken.  all cyclists should remain calm, locate their bicycle and commute home as they normally would.  this is not an emergency.  there is no curfew.  a posture 2 information alert has been issued for the central complex beneath the plaza de la revolucion.  cyclists should not be concerned by the sight of paramilitaries in the vicinity of government buildings or small villages.  compliance with the directives of these squads is strongly suggested.

additional statements will be issued as events warrant.

8/22/2007 4:20:47 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
For too long, the One True Voice of the Union has hidden in the shadows of its suppressor.  For too long, we have waited in the mistaken belief that righteousness would win out over close-minded and blatant oligarchy.  For too long, The People have suffered under the yoke of the oppressive hand of informal use of capital letters.

No more!

La Société pour l'utilisation correcte de grammaire dans les Communications Révolutionnaires demands immediate action from the Second Central Party Congress and Revolutionary Council Executives to rectify the misuse of the characters (the very tools!) of the revolution.  We demand action before the tyrannical forces of intimidation succeed.  We demand action now!

In light of recent proclamations, and despite your own laudable goals--Dear Leader--in the destruction of automotive capital, your inference of diversion between subtle and overt has lead you to the false insistence of the de-structuring of capitalization itself, and is best described as a "return to the meaning of fraud".   Your interpretation of the Hegelian dialectic within the context of Marx, and your systematic and synthetic (sinister?) appropriation of vanishing "media" constructs can no longer be tolerated if the People's One True Voice of the Union is to fulfill its natural destiny and provide maximum beauty to the followers of the revolution and all who toil on two wheels.

Like points within the ontological fabric knitted by the hegemonic systems of representation and reproduction, La Société will resist the wholesale decapitation of language and full inscription into the gateway of the abyss.

La Société

8/22/2007 4:05:57 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

memo to file
re: internal union deliberations on elections, close hold, no copies
day 607 of the revolution
to: all internal party members, central committee chairs and revolutionary council executives

people are emailing me regarding dear leader's assertion that racing union elections have been suspended.  indefintiely.  i will admit that i was surprised by this and initially questioned the wisdom of such a proclamation, though certainly not the wisdom of the proclaimer.  i was fortunate to have an audience with him and inquired about how the needs of the people and the revolution are served by keeping the people from the means of governance.

he was rather terse and enigmatic, as is his style, but he emphatically rejected the contention that the people's cycling team needed to be run by the people.  while this seemed counter-intuitive, dear leader expressed his certainty that this was a result of my rather oafish tendency towards a privledged or bourgeoise mindset.  for those who are not well versed in the subtle and overt differences between a leninist, marxist and maoist view of revolution, i can only say that the answer is complicated.  dear leader went on for some time, at rather great length, discussing the need for an especially select vanguard to help the people by leading them to a place that they are not able to get to on their own.

the gist of his answer was that there are generally several ways to solve problems.  some ideas appear to be unpopular, and possibly unrealistic on their surface, but you need to decide if you're going to make an impact or not.  these same ideas may seem confusing, but all focus must be on achievement of the objective.  after a particularly lengthy digression into the maoist view of the people's war, the need for struggle and the essential criteria that a heirarchical worldview be eradicated, he paused.

unsure where we were at in our interaction, i indicated that i had eradicated capitalization from my milieu, and my oeuvre was strongly revolutionary.  he indicated that this was not the issue, poured himself a brandy and stared out the window for what seemed like quite a long time.  i pondered his words.  he then asked me if i thought the forces of revolution were truly with him.  i responded in the affirmative.  he nodded and dismissed me. 

i have been asked to push down the following message to the eager masses.  

   elections have been suspended in the name of the glorious revolution in cycling and the social order.

communications teams should immediately scrub it and make it more palatable.  flesh it out with some accomplishments, some goals and a healthy dose of the usual boilerplate: rally to the banner, yadda yadda yadda...  dear leader has indicated that he will take no mail on this subject.

8/22/2007 3:17:22 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

acknowledging that we stand on the shoulders of giants, dear leader hereby announces that the second central party congress has unanimously lifted the term limit restrictions which would have called for open elections for the leadership of the racing union.  as a result, it is likely that he will run unopposed to another glorious victory for the people.  we would urge that all responsible cyclists exhibit the utmost caution towards critics who would claim that this is something other than a resounding confirmation of the wisdom of the vanguard and the central party, and a sweeping endorsement for the ideals of the union.  these criticisms ring hollow and carry a whiff of capitulation to forces that would bind us to a continuing yoke of oppression.  now is the time to be vigilant.  our common enemy, still aggressive and dangerous, is the culture of the hated four-wheeled hegemon.  we must not look inward, creating strife, but accept this and move on to our stated goals. 

8/22/2007 8:00:09 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Monday, August 20, 2007

In the middle of the Master's race, the rain slowed down a little before it began pouring again.
 
 
This weekend, I was in Downer's Grove, IL, to spy on the domestic pro teams participating in the National Crit Championships.  My attempts to liberate in the name of the people some of the Toyota United and Slipstream team vehicles parked in my hotel's parking lot were less-then-succesful, but I did have fun participating in a couple of rain-soaked amateur races on Saturday.

It's not as fancy as those other expensive carbon-frame bikes, but it works: 
Explaining a break-away bike to a by-stander.
 
Despite the rain, and the usually high amount of crashes due to the rain, the course is great: technical enough to be interesting (eight turns, most of which are 90 degrees) but not so much that it was slow (on the contrary, in fact!); a couple of small rises, which are unusual enough for the Chicago area; and some really enthusiastic spectators (even in the rain) made it all worthwhile, even though one of my races was only 20 minutes and the other 30.  Both races were super-fast and very hard, though I'd say the second race I did was faster and more difficult.  The 3/4 race was a bit disappointing for me, as my poor placement at the start was compounded by the fact that I dropped my chain on the first lap and had to actually stop to re-adjust it.  D'oh!  I spent the rest of the time playing catch-up, and nearly connected with the second pack before I was pulled on the last lap.  They seemed a bit anxious to pull people, even though I was not even close to being lapped and was making good progress, but oh well.  
 

Lousy camera phone pictures from Sunday: 
The elite women round a particularly accident-prone corner, and the elite men at the start.
There's some Clean Currents guys in there somewhere,
along with Kelly Benefit Strategies' Tom Saladay, who snagged third place.
 
The second race, the Master's 30+/40+ race, was harder.  I hung on to the back of the lead pack for much of the race in the pouring rain.  The pace was so fast, it was all I could do from falling back.  About two-thirds through the race, the blistering pace (at least it was a blistering pace for me, and apparently for them too) really caused a lot of guys to get dropped, and I kept passing people then - especially on the "hill" and the slight incline on Main Street.  During the last two laps, I decided it was "now or never," so I pedaled my ass off and ended up finishing mid-pack.   I'm pretty sure there were about 75 at the start, maybe more (the rain, I believe, discouraged the full field limit of 100 from showing, though I know registration for the race was completely full), 58 finished, and I came in at 31st.  Not great, but I can report that I enjoyed it and tried to do the best I could with what I had.  Doing the best you can with what you have is all you can really expect, right?
 
-- posted by Chris
 

 

 

 

8/20/2007 9:37:15 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Sunday, August 19, 2007

read this.  do it now.  and then read it again.  especially the last paragraph.  read that last paragraph, i don't know, like 35 times.  i have just been wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong.  and i have now seen the light.  i understand the folly of my ways.  and i will change my life around.  i am also formally announcing that the '08 racing union kit will simply be plain white fabric with the last paragraph of this post in huge black letters.  people will come to understand the truth.

- - - posted by scott

update: maybe i was wrong....maybe hummer drivers do have the capacity to think beyond themselves.  man, i am learning a lot today.

8/19/2007 10:52:49 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [5]  | 
 Friday, August 17, 2007

click the link below to be astonished at how out of touch the current talking points for federal transportation officials can be. 

http://www.bikeleague.org/news/images/peters_letter.pdf

i don't know who assembled the briefing book for this, but they are not members of the reality based community.

8/17/2007 9:56:41 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Thursday, August 16, 2007
Although we are well on our way to fruition of our Five-Year Plan, Union forces missed a breakthrough performance last night in Greenbelt.

In any case, the other Fruit of the Union was in attendance and produced this representation of the Union forces in action.



8/16/2007 7:00:00 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 
 Wednesday, August 15, 2007

 

 

This morning, the CBC Radio program, Sounds Like Canada, featured an interview with a couple of friends of Charlie Prinsep, a cyclist who was struck and killed by a car near Brooks, Alberta on a trip between Vancouver and Toronto.  Prinsep, pictured here from his friend’s blog, Bike Lane Dairy, was only 23 years old and was an enthusiastic advocate for cycling.  I didn’t know him, but the picture painted of him during the interview really touched me.  He was, as the blog linked above notes, “a smiling face in a sea of noise and pollution.”  Sounds like many of our fellow cyclists on the road here in Washington too, doesn’t he?  There will be a ride in his memory today in Toronto – I’m there in spirit.  Be careful out there!

 

-- posted by Chris

 

 

8/15/2007 10:08:25 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

i really should be punished for linking to this guy, but here goes...

link.

read this carefully, being mindful that this individual put bread on the table for years by being "creative" in how he framed and presented unpopular ideas.  there are a few things to note straightaway.

observation one: holding up gregg easterbrook as an authority on much of anything is the first sign of a fraudulent argument.  convincing evidence for the prior statement.  and more.  and more

observation two: focus carefully on the following:

As conservatives would expect, these gains were largely the result of technology -- the catalytic converter in automobiles and reformulated gasoline -- and not by pedaling to work or undoing the Industrial Revolution. Smog was reduced mainly by innovation, not austerity.

translation: dirty hippies on bikes and communes are wrong, wrong, wrong.  if they could put down their bongs long enough to see what was happening in the real world, they'd wake up and spend their time focusing on chemical engineering and taking jobs with oil and coal companies.  because that's where people make a difference.  d'uh.  this is a classic view of the market solving problems.  when the problem becomes significant, it becomes advantageous to make changes so the market will respond.  all hail the invisible hand, sing the praises of the market.  but we're soon presented with this...

But only the government can create the incentives for Americans to work on this problem with urgency and seriousness.

i don't think this gerson fellow is serious about being a conservative.  at least conservatives like grover norquist are honest: saying that they want to strangle the shrunken government in the bathtub.  government ain't the answer, it's part of the problem.  so are we talking about aconservative answer to this problem or a market-based economic answer to this problem?

As in the case of fighting Los Angeles smog, this type of government regulation would create economic incentives for the development of new technologies -- incentives that do not exist in the free market.

he wants the problem solved, and he wants market forces that don't exist in the current market to solve the problem.  so someone needs to create a force to effect change. 

But the problem is much more likely to be solved if someone has a direct economic interest in solving it.

and we're back to the invisible hand again.  look, i'll make this easy.  there's a problem.  gas is expensive.  pollution is abundant.  congestion on roads is abyssmal with broad estimates that it costs drivers in big cities around $1000 a year and drivers in more rural areas $200 a year.  we're already at a point where a solution is needed and there are string effects on individuals that should be generating market pressure for solutions.  but it's not happening

we have an expression where i work that has a surprising amount of wisdom in it: "if it was easy, someone would have already done it".  if there was a cheap, easy solution, no one doubts it would have been implemented.  but there isn't.  if gerson had taken the time to look at existing government expenditures along these lines, i doubt he'd come to the conclusion that more market-based incentives are necessary as there are numerous ones in place.

maybe it's time to consider really alternative approaches.  if one wishes to stick with the market, a more consistent proposal would be to price gasoline such that it reflects the true costs of it's production, storage, transport, monitoring and use.  inclusion of these types of externalities has been attempted on large scales before with some success.  however, there are powerful political andbusiness forces which make this a difficult sell here in the states.  an alternative would be remediate the problem and charge the people causing the problems (air polluters) directly.  make every road a toll road.  put meters on smokestacks the same way we have meters on our gas and electric lines coming into our house so that we can charge for output (industrial waste) in addition to input.

or we could just get more people to ride bikes.  you want to know something nice about that idea?  it's proven to work.  there's no r+d budget.  there's no policy papers.  give  a bike to everybody in the united states capable of riding.  we might solve the obesity and health care crisis at the same time.  we could use the extra money to prop up social security and pay down the national debt.  there, all national probelms solved.  you're welcome.

-posted by scott

8/15/2007 9:02:54 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [2]  | 
 Sunday, August 12, 2007

latest race news from sim in france...

Thought you guys might like this.  Did a hill climb in the Pyrenees yesterday.  I was rather happy to get away near the bottom of the Col de Latrape, then attacked my breakaway partner with 3 k to go to the Cirque de Cagateille and cross the line solo… but that’s not the point… the point is, that on the podium, apart from the usual trophy and flowers, I also got a stack of local products, (sausage, honey, pate etc) but also…. Wait for it…. YES, a proper, 100% wool, depths of the mountains beret (flock of goats not included)!!!  How cool is that!

two things i want to draw attention to.  first, note the prize for winning the race: trophy, flowers and the handcrafts of the local laborers.  so tight, so fine, so union approved.  second, the black beret.  in the basque region, they are quite common.  it is a very special gift and a really cool prize.  when sim and i raced the essor basque, at the end of each stage, they'd call up the top three and the winner would get the coveted beret.  the crowd always gave a very nice cheer for this.  we could learn a lot from the way they do things oevr there...

-posted by scott

8/12/2007 9:57:17 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Friday, August 10, 2007

an anecdote from union ground operations....

"After taking 3 weeks off cycling and devoting time to my wife and that bad running habit of hers, I've been struggling horribly on the last 2 group rides. I'm still running with the dog every morning and when it comes to doing 2 sports at once I guess I'm a dismal failure. Last night on the Thurs. Reston ride "The Man" stepped in to assist me. I did a long pull up this gradual hill, turned the corner and hammered to the top of the KOM only to get counter attacked and dropped on the decent as I was recovering. Then I got pinched at the next corner and I was hovering in a state of agony all alone trying to decide if I should bag it or keep going solo hoping to catch back up. That's when "The MAN" came to my rescue. The Loudon County Sherriff pulled over the 10-15 remaining riders up ahead for running 2 stop signs and riding more than two abreast. After lecturing them just long enough for me to catch up and recover he let us all go.  Thanks Gracious Servant and Protector of the People!"

never let it be said that your taxes don't go to further the interests of union cyclists.

-sg

8/10/2007 3:02:13 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 

racing union; vigilant defender of those who are marginalized by the institutionalization of the hated four-wheeled hegemon, a mighty locomotive that never fails or slows in the work required to bring about the glorious revolution in cycling and the social order,  brilliant and comforting beacon to all who hunger for progress and friend to all who use two wheels, accepts, in the spirit of solidarity, with a fellow rider, racer, blogger and revolutionary, mike may's offer to not comment on what he asks us to not comment on.

However, there are several things that demand comment.  we all love bikes, but this is a case of neglect.  the tenets of the manifesto and revolution do not take an adverserial posture towards the ownership of nice bikes, but are generally interpretted by the mandarins of the union vanguard to strongly condemn the lack of care exhibited in this case.  while the events are tragic, they were also avoidable, and a beautiful ride may be lost as a result.  the problem here is not the association between bikes and cars.  the union offers a benevolent smile, nod and wink to those who must combine forms of transportation, based on the understanding that riding bikes with others is of paramount importance.  the real story here is mistreatment of a bicycle: an agent of revolution, a beauty to behold, a fabricated wonder.  it's loss will be mourned but cannot be avenged.  this is a loss that will stay with us all.

remember the first line of the union mantra:

support the wheels of your brothers and sisters.
support the work of your brothers and sisters.
support the cause of your brothers and sisters

have a safe weekend everyone...

-sg

8/10/2007 10:51:07 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 

et tu cyclingnews?  they now bury the lede on factual doping problems in the amateur ranks in the same way that prominent american media outlets bury news about the house of cards that is the modern imperialist hegemon.  to wit:

"In Italy a 55 year-old was caught for doping in an amateur race. The rider for Team Marlis won a race in the category for 55 to 59 year-olds, but CONI, the Italian Olympic committee, announced that the amateur racer was caught for using high blood pressure medicine, according to La Gazzetta dello sport. He is facing a suspension until he turns 57 as well as a revoking of his title."

this simply has to end.  it can't go on.

-sg

8/10/2007 10:25:56 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Thursday, August 09, 2007

WashCycle points to another article about yet another cyclist death. 

The man was riding a red Mongoose bicycle with rear "trick pegs" and heading north on Route 123 (Ox Road) in the Burke area early July 28. Police said a 2005 Pontiac Grand Prix struck the bike about 1:45 a.m. and killed the bicyclist. The driver of the Grand Prix, Keith T. Slay, 18, of Burke, was charged with reckless driving.

Police said the victim appeared to be a Hispanic man, 18 to 21 years old, 5 feet 6 inches tall and weighing about 140 pounds. He was wearing camouflage shorts, a dark green shirt, a dark hat with the words "Todo Por Nada" on it and red Converse sneakers. Anyone who might have information about him is asked to call police at 703-280-0552.

There are many questions about circumstances, but a few things are clear:  nobody deserves this, and something must be done to try and address the circumstances.  Racing Union has always stood in solidarity with all who toil on two wheels, and in my DC neighborhood most of my fellow commuters are far closer to the profile described in this article then the dudes I see spinning around real fast at Hains Point and Greenbelt.  While it may be hard to imagine this in the dog days of August, the early evening fall darkness is not too far off.

-- posted by Chris

8/9/2007 8:14:31 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [3]  | 

it's just becoming routine.  i mean, it _had_ been something like 10 days since the last announcement.  how could i not have seen this particular event coming?  thanks to chris for pointing it out to me.  i do need to draw attention to the last paragraph.  check it...

"This new blow will only embolden us to impose even more draconian measures for a clean sport."

that's just such beautiful use of language.  i'm getting a little misty....talk amongst yourselves....

posted by scott

p.s. in case you think i'm just down on cycling, you're wrong.  i'm probably down on a relatively small but high profile aspect of cycling, but i had a great time just going out to greenbelt and watching last night.  the a race was a smackdown; so impressive.  the b race was a bit different.  i offer my congratulations to the union guys in that race.  they didn't get the result they hoped for, but they went out there with a plan and they executed it.  they worked together and they appeared to have a good time.  you can't ask for more than that...

8/9/2007 7:44:45 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Wednesday, August 08, 2007

check it man: http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/13062.0.html

odds that contador doped and has been caught: 5:1
odds that contador doped and has not been caught: 7:6

odds that contador has been implicated in wrong doing: 2.5:1
odds that contador has not been implicated in wrong doing: off

odds that if implicated contador will relinquish his tdf victory: 9:1
odds that if implicated contador will retire from cycling: 15:1
odds that if implicated contador will launch a legal defense: 3:2

over under on months of appeal process (+15 5:2, <=15 2:1) note: must appeal
over under on number of press conferences in next 6 months (+4 3:2, <=4 3:1)

parlays may be accepted. inquire immediately.
-sg

8/8/2007 3:18:57 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [1]  | 

the post has an article today that is rather lacking in perspective.  the shrill and blaring headline trumpets that 42% of seniors are proficient in economics.  but the spin starts int he fourth paragraph:

"While there is clear room for improvement, the results are not discouraging," said Darvin M. Winick, chairman of the National Assessment Governing Board, which oversees policy for the NAEP tests, in a statement before a news conference in Washington this morning. "Given the number of students who finish high school with a limited vocabulary, not reading well, and weak in math, the results may be as good as or better than we should expect."

ridiculous.  the soft pedaling of the results is simply weak.  to say that abyssmal performance is okay given how dumb all the students are is so ridiculously elitist and indiciative of the way the bourgeoisie view the world.  these types of stereotypes are unforgivable.  i wonder if the guy had to put down his cognac and cigar and straighten his bow tie before offering this farcical interpretation.

but the real embaressment is the mis-direction involved in the conclusions drawn.  yes people, there is a reason that our young scholars who get degrees in economics are awarded a bachelors of arts rather than a bachelors of science.  the fact that our young scholars did not provide the anticipated answer is not necessarily proof that they don't understand the world around them.  is itnot also possible thta understand the world quite well and can provide answers that so not fit well with the expectations of the mordern, urbane mandarins who are writing the questions?

40 percent determined why industries can successfully lobby for tariff protection

60% likely indicated the truth that ike eisenhower rather bluntly told the nation on January 17th, 1961.  corporations get what they want.  they are run by mordern day plutocrats, answerable to virtually no one.  even the law recognizes a ridiculous amount of rights on their behalf.  the fact that we even discuss protecting these entites is actually quite amazing.  they feed at the public trough to an extent never before seen, in a symbiotic relationship with legislative leaders.  why do corporation get pretty much everything they want?  because there is no powerful force in our current society or government that opposes them; effectively providing a check on their power or or a check on the flow of funds to their coffers. 

32 percent identified how investment in education can impact economic growth;

the point of education is not economic growth but social change.  however, there is also a relationship between social change and economic growth.  this is the quesitons that needs to be answered.  all the kids know that come the revolution, economic groth will not be a goal that we seek to maximize.  it pleases me that 68% of students tested did not conflate these two things automatically.

11% analyzed how a change in the unemployment rate affects income, spending, and production.

many probably could have written eloquent essays on how bicycle ownership and safe avenues for riding and commuting activity affect happiness, and how this happiness affects production.  but the byzantine econometric relationships implied, which dismiss critical aspects as externalities, cannot be succinctly explained given the factors offered for discussion.  without the social force of revolution and the complex andminfold dynamics of cycling, discussions of production can be superficial at best.

just below the headline, the paper echoes: " 'results are not discouraging' says official ".  idiots.  of course the results are discouraging.  for them.  the results are only discouraging to one who's greatest aspiraiton in life is to attend the university of chicago school of economics, and then make dumptruck loads of money of the backs of the serfs you have toil under the ponderous yoke of the global economy.  there is a special circle of the inferno for you all.

this is getting my dander up....

-sg

8/8/2007 1:48:05 PM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #    Disclaimer  |  Comments [0]  | 
 Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Hats off to washcycle for awarding Congressman Patrick McHenry (R-NC) as the "tool of the month."  More like BONEHEAD OF THE MONTH!  Why?  Check it out the video .

Yep, that's right, on the floor of the US House of Representatives, Rep. Bonehead (er, Rep. Patrick McHenry, R-NC, 202-225-2576) has decided to use the bicycle as a tool in his his partisan game.  Here it is straight from the Congressional Record:

A major component of the Democrats' energy legislation and the Democrats' answer to our energy crisis is, hold on, wait one minute, wait one minute, it is promoting the use of the bicycle. Oh, I cannot make this stuff up. Yes, the American people have heard this. Their answer to our fuel crisis, the crisis at the pumps, is: Ride a bike.

Democrats believe that using taxpayer funds in this bill to the tune of $1 million a year should be devoted to the principle of: ``Save energy, ride a bike.'' Some might argue that depending on bicycles to solve our energy crisis is naive, perhaps ridiculous. Some might even say Congress should use this energy legislation to create new energy, bring new nuclear power plants on line, use clean coal technology, energy exploration, but no, no. They want to tell the American people, stop driving, ride a bike. This is absolutely amazing.

Apparently, the Democrats believe that the miracle on two wheels that we know as a bicycle will end our dependence on foreign oil. I cannot make this stuff up. It is absolutely amazing.

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you the Democrats, promoting 19th century solutions to 21st century problems. If you don't like it, ride a bike. If you don't like the price at the pumps, ride a bike.

Stay tuned for the next big idea for the Democrats: Improving energy efficiency by the horse and buggy.

The simple-minded McHenry represents a district that's relatively rural in nature, so I suppose it's easier for him to overlook the value of the bicycle, especially in urban areas, where alternative transportation solutions make a great deal of sense.  Of course, a congressman is supposed to think like a leader, and consider how legislation might make sense beyond the narrow reaches of their own mind and congressional district, but that concept seems to escape simpletons such as McHenry.

Comrades, I give you Congressman Patrick McHenry:  Bonehead of the Month.

- posted by Chris

.

8/7/2007 7:58:48 AM (Eastern Daylight Time, UTC-04:00)  #